Oh, thank goodness! I got on that flight from Entebbe and as I write this, my ass is well checked in and seated at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport in Nairobi waiting for connecting flight to Lusaka-Zambia. While there, I will connect with Air Namibia to finally break a long standing life virginity to have my 13 inch feet in Windhoek! Thanks to Namibian Road Safety Council but most importantly one hell of a superstar who believes in meaningful youth involvement participation in issues that affect them-in this plate, road safety. But wait, my flight to Nairobi wouldn’t have taken place or would it?
After getting and accepting the invitation from the Namibian Road Safety council to speak at the 4th Annual National Road Safety Conference on the ‘Role of African Young People and Road Safety-Opportunities presented by social media’, I started immediately the process of visa application. As you might be aware, there is no consulate/embassy of Namibia in Uganda but rather in Tanzania which you will find even more bizarre as Tanzanians do not require entry visa to Namibia ! I dream of a time when an African will move from one country to another without being asked for a travel visa. But anyways, that’s none of my business to complain. DHL does all the bullshit, as long as you pay for it expensively by the way. But you can be guaranteed of unrivalled service, and they did deliver after just 2 days. The only complaint was exorbitant fees by my local bank to transfer only 50USD to the embassy. The transfer itself took 30USD off my poor account. Again, that’s nothing compared to what my host is catering for. Its even more nothing compared to the impact of my presentation to the lives of young people in Africa. #MorethanJUSTAJOB. But there is one thing, that escaped my brain by the hair of its butt.
Iam not a travel virgin, and that got me wondering how in hell, I came to the airport with a booking and not a ticket? I got my electronic configuration excited when the officer in charge told me, ‘sorry, but you don’t have a ticket’. Jeez, why would this have to happen to mum’s first born! Was this chic bullshitting me? No, usually they don’t, and that’s a problem. I could feel the coldness inside out. It was un mélange of fright and flightut I remembered the statement from one of the weirdest soccer players in the history of English Premier League:- #Berbatov who believed that the best things are done slowly and calmly. So, I #Berbatoved myself, and boy, it worked. Upon informing my host, I don’t know how, but Mr Ambrosius must have jogged down to the nearest agency and paid my ticket! I can only imagine how sweaty he’s feeling, but I found my self onto the next flight. But that didn’t come on a bed of roses with Princes Diana (May her soul be an inspiration to many of us).
Upon checking in, KQ apparently had no seats. They were all full! But why!!!!! They say, shit happens, and this time it almost really happened. I looked at the checking in officer and I was like WHAT THE HELL So, I thanked her for trying and as I just turned my still I –cant-believe-it-eyes, she said, in a hurrying voice, ‘Wait sir, just a minute!’. Had she found a seat for me? I stood glued and after 13 minutes of waiting-thank my mother for breastfeeding me well otherwise I’d have fainted, she came to me and told me to RUNNNNNN towards the immigration and proceed to GATE 3 as the aircraft was only waiting for me. Putain! How was I supposed to do that? Hell, wasn’t I the best sprinter in Senior 1? Shaaaa…wasn’t I the (retired) USAIN Bolt of our Staff University Team? You cant imagine, neither can I, but I Bolt-ed through the gates like a pig in heat, and anxious like a man waiting for her wife to come out of the labour ward, I emerged out of the Airport into the boarding area where the aircraft was in the final minutes of its full throttle gear. Like a mad man, I said ‘Hello to the ever smart KQ waitresses, and did a Thierry Henry slide into the door! Boom….I was in the aircraft! The Cabin crew had no time, to tell me anything, I found an empty seat in the Business class and hurled my bags overhead, and plunged my sweaty body into those spaciously tempting seats. In exactly 2 minutes, we were rolling…What a fright-flight! Will it Lusaka and Windhoek pull any surprises?
Catch you later
© Brian Kanaahe Mwebaze Bilal: Views expressed here in do not represent those of my current or future employers.