You have been praying and fasting over this bloody job which you applied for 4 months ago, although you read correctly that the candidate was wanted as soon as possible! So you kept calling the recruiter and the dude kept holding your fears in a glass of water with a trademark ‘Its fine. We had some unprecedented delays, but we shall get back to you soon’. Calm down, mate because it bloody happens all the time and to everybody! You are still young in this field, if this hasn’t happened to you, but hey, No one was born old except Brad Pitt in the movie ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’
But Boooooom! Hell’s broken loose and here is the email or phone call, for a job interview in the forthcoming 1 week! So, you check on the calendar, and it’s a bloody Thursday, and you are like, Putain! Why the hell must it be a Thursday! You were told by the other guy who was talking on TEDX Talks how you should prepare for a job interview, and boy, you aint got no shoes and suit yet! Hold your horse son, because if you really are going to pass this interview and nail this job down, you gotta do it like how the #NextWHODirectorGeneral prepares his!
Before the interview
Get Cocky from within! As part of your preparatory stage on day 1, you will need to get your Visa Card and withdraw all the internal motivation about this job. It damn means, that you are a good candidate for this job, otherwise, why the hell would the recruiter spend his time to read through your harvard-like application! You impressed the guy damn it! And he knows it. What he aint sure though is whether this application wasn’t written by a team comprised of your ex , Aristotle, Newton, Kepler, Galileo-Galilee and Robert Mugabe! He wants to be absolutely certain that its you! And hell knows, its you! So get Cocky!
Play a good physical game! As part of Day 2 preparation, you want to be alert 110% during the interview that your recruiter will be worried whether you are really human! Jog, play football and be sure to score a goal and nutmeg some one. Listen to loud music in your house (if you want), listen to some really crazy shit you haven’t listened to for a damn long time. In my last job interview, I went to play against my local university soccer team, and I just wanted to nutmeg every one that came to attack me…do something special repeatedly and consistently!
Clean your self up and your interview clothes! You have been told how first impression counts: Bullocks! It doesn’t! Real recruiters in the 21st century are looking beyond the bleached skin, the fake neck tie, the scare crow suit and your fake accent! For goodness sake, just clean and iron your long sleeved shirt. Put on your Camel-branded type of jeans! It’s magic, and you still don’t know why: One, it shows how ‘experienced’ in the public health field you have been. You cant possibly tell me any one successful public health specialist who achieved anything with your ‘political’ gentle trousers-mon cul! Careful though, no buggy jeans and absolutely no faded ones! I know your ‘colonised’ education told ya to get a black or navy blue suit on and a fitting next tie, and black mouth-pointed shoes: That’s utter bullshit in public health unless you are going to be interviewed for a political position in the office of the president. Anyways, a single coloured neck tie will do magic for you! And then comes the shoes. Iam a fan of Weinbrenner-brand of shoes:-they depict that you are all-weather. Field or office, you are ready to go! They must be clean though! Young men have been told to trim their beard, so they get all forms of channleOs and whatever style, only a team of devils can really name the rest. Just get the trademark #ThierryHenryCut: Well trimmed, uniform beard and short or no hair if you are bald.
Arrive before time! If you got an education like I did (the British), we were educated to come ‘Ontime’> >>This is bullshit! Arrive before time, even 3 hours before and check with the receptionist and hit a quick conversation with her. She is most likely gonna be female but don’t give no shit if she is 10 times older than your mum. Its none of your business really. Many times, they are bored to death only pretending to be busy on their computers while in real sense, their facebook and twitter portals are like ‘….hey girl, whatcha you doing right now…I hate this boss…I want a drink….’ kinda talk! There is usually some literature which she can help you with about the company or organisation…such kind of info you will only get at such a place, not on the website-which am sure you will have checked out already! Ask her one question ‘What’s the most significant change that happened to this institution since you were here?’ That’s a magical question, that you will find helpful sooner than later.
Watch out for Part II coming next week